Coming Out and More

Another look at the advice from this site:

Telling other people

Should a transvestite reveal to his friends, family or even his partner that he is a cross-dresser?

This has to be done very carefully.

Many transvestites feel frustrated that they have to keep this part of their personality a secret, and sometimes their frustration erupts and leads to very sudden and unwise confessions in the workplace. But many colleagues are simply not ready to hear that Gerry becomes Geraldine at weekends.

Telling your wife or partner is also difficult – though some women are extremely understanding about cross-dressing.

Our advice to anyone thinking of telling a romantic partner, or indeed a colleague, sibling, friend or parent, is to first seek advice from one of the excellent support groups listed at the end of this factsheet.

Many men do tell their partners, and some of these partners enter into the spirit of the whole thing and actually help their men to dress as women. These guys are very lucky as their partners frequently stop them from making horrendous style mistakes!

One of us interviewed such a couple on a television programme called 'The Good Sex Guide Late'. This husband and wife in their 30s used to go out clubbing together as 'sisters' - heavily made-up and dressed in party clothes.

The wife really liked her husband's alter ego and said that his female side was so sensitive and loving that sharing it had enriched their marriage.

But few women are quite as happy with their man's transvestite behaviour as she was.

Sex and cross-dressing

A number of male transvestites want to go a bit further than dressing up and going out – they want to make love to women when they're 'acting female'.

In our experience, the majority of wives and girlfriends are definitely not happy with this scenario.

On the other hand, some women do find that having sex with a man who is made-up and dressed as a woman can feel quite a turn-on.

But far more females find the whole idea quite alarming and off-putting, and no man should attempt to force his partner into sex if she falls into this category.

Again, this is something to take advice about from people who have experience in this matter.

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