Super Femme

Hannah McKnight talks about the shift from masculine to feminine...

When I look in the mirror (in guy mode), I see a pretty strong jawline, wide shoulders, decent biceps, giant hands… and I’m tall. I look “masculine”. I check a lot of the boxes that people generally associate with being male.

When I step across the lines of gender binary, I begin the transformation from masculine to what I hope is femininity. And sometimes (most of the time), it is a battle. It’s a battle on two fronts. One is the physical side. How do I get my broad shoulders into this cute dress? How can I contour enough to reshape this blocky chin into something more oval?
The real battle is the psychological one. As I said, when I look in the mirror I see a masculine reflection. I see a face that needs to shave, I see bags under my eyes from not getting enough sleep… and I wonder how on Earth am I going to make THIS into a cute girl?

I had a revelation the other day that I like to look, and dress, as feminine as possible to be in equal contrast to my masculinity. Whether I am wearing a dress shirt or a dress, my shoulders aren’t going anywhere. I can wear thigh and hip pads, I can wear breast forms, I can contour my face, but I can’t do anything about my frame and hands.

At least not physically.

A pink dress makes me feel (and look) more femme than my shoulders make me feel masculine. Polka dots, stilettos, bright, red glossy lipstick, winged eyeliner sharp enough to pop a balloon… femme me up, baby. This same thinking carries over to my underdressing, too. If I am feeling particularly “male” I’ll wear pink panties, or something with lace or bows… something more girly than what I might have normally picked out for the day.

When I am looking super femme, it’s probably because I was feeling super masculine that day.