Cross-dressing and "Beauty"

Hannah McKnight discusses the ways in which our self-criticism as cross-dressers is wrong.

There are parts of us that we don’t like when it comes to being in girl mode. Sometimes this can be hypocritical and unnecessarily hard on ourselves. For example, you may find a cis-girl with nicely toned, muscular arms attractive, but we cringe at our own nicely toned, muscular arms when we’re en femme. A tall cis-girl might be a goddess, but we might think that we ourselves are too tall to be femme. No girl, cis or trans, is too tall, too… ANYTHING to be femme. I doubt any of us looks at a cis-girl and thinks that she is too tall to be pretty, or too tall to wear stilettos.

Well…. yes, to SOME people it matters. Let’s face it, some people HATE transpeople and aren’t shy in showing it. If you spend time online reading the comments section of any news story about the transcommunity it’s easy to think that everyone in the world hates us and would prefer we simply not exist. But it’s a lot easier to type a mean comment than it is to say something to someone’s face. I have been out for years, YEARS, and have been to lingerie shops, cafes, restaurants, bookstores, malls, museums, gas stations, department stores, thrift shops, hotels, salons, and even churches. The negative experiences are shockingly low considering how many different places I have been and the number of people I have interacted with. Most encounters are uneventful, some are incredibly affirming, and yes, some people have been rude, but for the most part most people simply do not care that I am trans (at least to my face). What someone THINKS is irrelevant. I don’t know what they THINK of me, or what they might say to their co-worker after I leave, but that is none of my business. Besides I’ll never know.

It’s so easy to overthink this side of ourselves. We scrutinize and overanalyze everything about our gender identity and gender presentation. We think about what others will think about us. And it’s normal to do that, but really, how often do you think about the dozens of encounters you have with people everyday?...We overthink the outfit we wear and if we can pull it off. I used to think my shoulders were too broad to wear thin straps or halter tops but guess what! I was wrong. I look amazing in halter tops and so do you.

Wear what you want. Be who are you. Go where you please. No one is too anything to be a girl.