In the Blender

Hannah McKnight responds to a letter about "blending in":

It appears to me that when you venture out, you are always wearing a dress and heels. Now, I love dresses and heels as much as the next woman but if the objective is to “blend in”, well, most women in this country are somewhat overweight and belong to the jeans and sneakers crowd unless they’re quite young.

Here in Las Vegas, which has the highest per capita number of transwomen in the U.S., you rarely see dresses and heels unless going to one of the many dance clubs on The Strip.

My advice as a transwoman has always been to “blend in” and not stand out. Too many non-trans crossdressers tend to dress as how they would like a girlfriend or a wife to dress which is strictly a “garter belt, stockings and stilettos” fantasy.

Oh, well. That’s just my nickel’s worth. Not at all trying to be critical, just curious.

I will absolutely acknowledge that most femme-presenting and most cis women do not wear heels or dresses whenever they go out. Of course, at the same time, most masculine presenting people and cis men aren’t wearing wingtip shoes and neckties each and every time they are out of the house either.

And I totally get it. Leggings, cardigans, hoodies… are comfy. And they can be super cute. When Hannah goes out, it’s because she is going to do something FUN. Shopping, dinner with friends, going to a play… Hannah doesn’t run errands. The boy runs errands....

Hannah dresses to the nines because it’s FUN. Part of what makes it fun is that I don’t dress up (at least not completely) more than a couple of times a month....If I were to transition or live full-time I can’t imagine I would wear heels and dresses every day.

I dress for myself. I believe most women do as well which is why I think most girls are wearing whatever they damn well want when they go to the mall. I mean, isn’t that why it’s fun to be a girl? At least part of it? Crossdressers, t-girls, non-binary people all want (and should be allowed) to wear whatever they please.

I know I could dress down a little to blend in. I know a girl, any girl, wearing stilettos and a cute dress and knock-them-dead eyeliner is going to stand out. But I dress for myself. I am not tying to blend in. I don’t think I can. Sure, wearing flats (ew) and jeans would HELP me blend in, but as a six foot tall trans girl I am always going to stand out. Since I know I will never truly blend in I may as well dress how I want. I’ll wear the stilettos, I’ll wear the leather skirt, I’ll wear the bright pink dress as I wait in line at the coffee shop.