I've known for many years that I was different from other males, right back to the time when I was about 7 to 10 years old. I used to play with my sister, putting on mum's makeup or playing dress up. I used to love trying on my sister's clothes and shoes--she's two years older, but didn't think anything of it, not at that age anyway. She used to put makeup on me and dress me up. It was a lot of fun. It felt so much better than doing boy's things. Then, as we both entered secondary school and my sister got older, obviously these things stopped--although my feelings didn't change. I would see the girls at school and want to wear what they were wearing--short skirts and blouses--rather than the shirt and pants the boys had to wear. I loved hanging out with the girls...they seemed to have so much more fun talking about clothes and makeup and hairstyles.
My teen years were relatively normal and I did all the boy things--football, rugby, getting drunk, etc. I had plenty of girlfriends and things seemed pretty normal for quite a long time. I left school, got a good job, and hung out with mates, went on lads' holidays and just had a lot of fun. I liked having girlfriends and loved being in a relationship--but I would see a girlfriend wearing a sexy outfit and still wanted to wear it. I looked at her body and wished mine would be the same and that I had breasts and a nice curvy bum. We would go shopping for clothes and I would be looking at things I would like to wear and admiring all the sexy high heels. Women's clothes are so much more exciting than men's, I think.
I carried on through my 20s; nobody had any idea how I felt inside. To my friends, I was a normal outgoing bloke who loved the girls and loved going out. I went to football matches, got drunk, had fights, all the usual stupid things blokes do.
Then when I got to about 28 years old, I decided to buy some clothes off the Internet. My feelings were getting too strong to quash. I ordered a skirt and blouse, along with some knickers, bra, and heels. I couldn't wait for them to arrive and when I put them all on, it felt fantastic! It just felt right! I experimented with makeup and practised applying it. This went on for a couple of years--I bought bits of clothing along the way while still trying to suppress my feelings. I had also discovered I had a deeply submissive side and I was exploring that too.
At the age of about 30, I made the decision to act on my feelings and try to find similar people--hopefully someone that could help transform me into the person I wanted to be. Around this time I met Mistress Amber. I replied to an ad for a submissive sissy looking for training and it was the best thing I did. Just being able to talk to someone about my feelings was great and she helped me realise I could become the person I wanted to be.
I knew that given a choice I would be a sexy bimbo with big breasts and ass and Mistress Amber convinced me it was possible. From the off, she told me to buy certain items of clothing and large breast forms. They felt amazing when I put them on! She explained that eventually I would be bigger than that in real life and would be her bimbo slut. We talked all the time and she would give me tasks to do--whether it be practising makeup, walking in heels, posing for pics. It all felt great! By now I knew I would never be really happy until I became the person I felt I was meant to be. Mistress Amber explained how far she wanted to take me and asked me if I was comfortable with this. Obviously I was, and so then we talked about surgery and body shaping and also hormones.
This takes me to the present day. At the moment I feel far more comfortable in a dress and heels than in male clothing. I just love tottering about the house--they make my legs look far more shapely. I wear female underwear almost permanently now and dress as often as possible. I am not remotely interested in male clothing and just love buying skirts,and tops, heels, etc. Mistress Amber has talked about me joining her in the USA...this is something I want a great deal! There I can have surgery with her guidance and finally become the bimbo I am meant to be. She introduced me to hypnosis and this has strengthened my desires a great deal.
I think the hypnosis Mistress Amber has done with me has really strengthened my desire to change and become the bimbo I want to be. I think the desire has to be there already to a degree and you have to want the changes hypnosis is telling you. She gave me a series of mantras to say to myself while listening to subliminal recordings. She also gave me mp3's to listen to--various ones such as how to be a diva or a whore. It takes a while to be able to trance and see yourself and really believe you are becoming the person you want to be.
I have found that all the desires I had have become much stronger--for example I wear female underwear almost all the time now. It doesn't feel right without it. As soon as I get home from work, I change into female clothing and heels. This is when and how I feel comfortable. In addition, the desire for sexual activity has become unbearable and, as a result, I have decided to date some men I have met. The only thing I can focus on is the person I want to become, then I believe I will be really happy and content. I continue to use the hypnosis mp3's and strengthen my desires and will.Mistress Amber also introduced me to Dani who is a genius at altering images--this has given me a clear vision of what I want to become. I have just received my first batch of hormones and I am excited about the changes I will experience. I also want some sexual experience with men. This will be a big step for me, but it's something I want a lot. To be totally feminised and live in the USA with Mistress Amber is the dream I want, to have her guidance in person would be great. I can't wait for the day when I come round from surgery and see my huge breasts for the first time--it will be amazing! When I'm all finished I will be the bimbo I always wanted to be walking down the street with huge tits and ass with big lips and long hair! I will finally be Mistress Amber's bimbo whore--transformed by her and owned by her! My love and loyalty will be there for ever!
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