Chance Encounters

Hannah McKnight has some advice on how to approach another cross-dresser.

The other day I spotted a very stylish looking trans girl in my suburb (well, I’d be damn surprised if I’d mis”read” her). Tall, lovely mini dress, flatter heels than I’d have chosen (but, hey, nobody’s perfect!) and spot-on makeup.

I was so tempted to say hi, compliment them on their look, but decided not to, in part remembering what you’d written.

But I’m thinking about what I do if/when I see someone en femme, while I’m in guy mode? Do I say something, or (at most) smile in as friendly a way as possible (trying not to be at all creepy)?

It would make me incredibly uncomfortable if a man were to approach me and tell me I’m beautiful. It’s happened before and it makes me feel very awkward. I say thank you and I walk away, but there’s the feeling that they may follow me or continue to watch me. I understand the comment may be sincere, I understand that they may be an ally, and who knows, perhaps they are also living a life between genders, but like you said my situational awareness is at its peak when I am en femme. I know I stand out, but knowing someone is… noticing me, I guess, makes me feel very uncomfortable. My uneasiness is also heightened knowing that there are men out there who fetishize a girl like us.

When I am out en femme and I see a girl like me, it’s a little different, but not much. Again, I know I’m trans and so does everyone else, but I see little need to discuss my gender identity with a stranger. A t-girl is generally hyper-aware of their surroundings and when we see another t-girl, an acknowledging smile that says “I see you” is all that is really needed.