Friday, December 29, 2017

Wear What Scares You

Some advice from Hannah McKnight:

...passing is unattainable and vague, and it’s unattainable because it is so vague. There is not a set of standards that one has to meet in order to be female, or to be beautiful. Yes, I am tall (I am even taller in four inch heels), and height is often viewed as a male characteristic and thus “gives me away”. But I have met cis-women who are taller than me. I have met cis-women who have deeper voices than myself. I have met cis-women with facial hair.

Are they not women because of those characteristics? What decides what is feminine? Who decides what is beauty? Who decides who is beautiful?

No one.

Well, you do.

As my wardrobe grew, I noticed the clothes I was buying were reflecting my growing confidence and courage. I was buying less clothes that I felt helped me blend in and more clothes that, in the corner of mind, I would wear in public when I felt bolder. It would take another year or so until the outfits I wore outside of the house moved from blending in to being bolder. My wardrobe was expanding and was soon filling up with bright colors, bold patterns, higher heels and skirts that showed off all the hard work I put into on the Stairmaster at the gym.

Then one day I was done blending in. I am not sure what triggered it, perhaps it was a beautiful day, or a new dress I couldn’t wait to wear. Soon I was at the mall, at the art museum, getting makeovers and having coffee wearing dresses that I never thought I’d have the courage to wear in the real world.

There is a hashtag that I saw the other day that reads #wearwhatscaresyou and I really like that idea. The idea of wearing a bright pink dress with sky-high heels terrified me a few years ago, but it’s one of my favorite outfits. To me it screams confidence.

This is the last of the cross-dressing essays I have on file. If you see something you think fits here, let me know.

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