The Janus Syndrome: 2017-18

Every year about this time, I post about how well I met my goals for the old year and what my goals for the new year will be. (BTW, Janus is the two-faced Roman god who looked both backward and forward, making him the patron of doorways and of the new year, hence January being named for him.)

Last year's goals:

1. Continue to dress at least once a month; this one already has a good start, as I have firm plans for dressing in January and February.

Once again, I made this one...sometimes just barely, but I dressed at least once in every calendar month.

2. Post almost every day....with a goal to breaking this year's posting total.

Well, I broke last year's total...by about six postings.

3. Post more unusual stuff...like the recent one about the psychology of forced feminization.

I posted one of these almost every week on Friday... but I've run out of material. Anyone got anything interesting?

4. Cull the wardrobe of the stuff that doesn't really fit.

This didn't happen, because I didn't want to waste a precious dressing day trying on stuff to see if it fit. Maybe in 2018.

But here's the biggie: Fulfilling a "resolution" from way back in 2011--

Experience hypnotic trance. I've concluded this will require a real person as the hypnotist, at least on the phone, as virtual programs and recordings do not seem to work for me.

As regular readers know, this finally happened, thanks to Mistress Lola! If you're interested in all that, I suggest you read these pages:

Trance-Script 1
Trance-Script 2
Trance-Script 3
Trance-Script 4

This year's goals:

1. Continue to dress once a month at least. This should be possible--the wife has at least one evening every month when she's out.

2. Continue to post nearly every day. Again, not a problem...I may even be able to do more than that.

3. Cull the wardrobe...this time for sure.

4. Experience trance with Mistress Lola at least four times during the year...hopefully even more!

Happy New Year!

December Dressing 2: Schoolgirl Red

Ready to return to the classroom after the holidays:



The red turtleneck is by LL Bean, bought online in December 2008; the red tartan miniskirt is by Teenbell, bought at Forman Mills in September 2014; the shoes are Mossimo "Velda" red baby-doll oxford pumps, from Target in August 2008. Other accessories are a red bow, gold jewelry, and knee socks.



I love the first portrait...and another kiss for the New Year!

Next dressing looks like it will be in about two weeks. In the meantime, please respond to the survey at the right (details here)!

Wear What Scares You

Some advice from Hannah McKnight:

...passing is unattainable and vague, and it’s unattainable because it is so vague. There is not a set of standards that one has to meet in order to be female, or to be beautiful. Yes, I am tall (I am even taller in four inch heels), and height is often viewed as a male characteristic and thus “gives me away”. But I have met cis-women who are taller than me. I have met cis-women who have deeper voices than myself. I have met cis-women with facial hair.

Are they not women because of those characteristics? What decides what is feminine? Who decides what is beauty? Who decides who is beautiful?

No one.

Well, you do.

As my wardrobe grew, I noticed the clothes I was buying were reflecting my growing confidence and courage. I was buying less clothes that I felt helped me blend in and more clothes that, in the corner of mind, I would wear in public when I felt bolder. It would take another year or so until the outfits I wore outside of the house moved from blending in to being bolder. My wardrobe was expanding and was soon filling up with bright colors, bold patterns, higher heels and skirts that showed off all the hard work I put into on the Stairmaster at the gym.

Then one day I was done blending in. I am not sure what triggered it, perhaps it was a beautiful day, or a new dress I couldn’t wait to wear. Soon I was at the mall, at the art museum, getting makeovers and having coffee wearing dresses that I never thought I’d have the courage to wear in the real world.

There is a hashtag that I saw the other day that reads #wearwhatscaresyou and I really like that idea. The idea of wearing a bright pink dress with sky-high heels terrified me a few years ago, but it’s one of my favorite outfits. To me it screams confidence.

This is the last of the cross-dressing essays I have on file. If you see something you think fits here, let me know.

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Dani's Hypnotic Self-Image #3

The third in the series of morphs, showing how I see myself under Mistress Lola's post-hypnotic suggestion:

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December Dressing 1: Red for the Holidays

A much belated first outfit for the final month of 2017:



The red twofer is from Kmart's Basic Editions line in January 2011; the red-and-white striped skirt is by Chances R, bought at Forman Mills in July 2015; the shoes are Lela Rose Unforgettable Moments "Nathalie" white pumps from Payless in April 2010. Other accessories are a scarf, silver jewelry, petticoats, and natural hose.



A portrait, and a kiss for the New Year:

There's one more outfit from this dressing session, I'll try to get it posted by Saturday. In the meantime, please respond to the survey at the right (details here)!

Decisions, Decisions

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Dollboy

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Happy Christmas to All!

[My annual Christmas greeting, first posted in 2007.]

...and to all a Good Night!"...as Clement Clark Moore wrote. (And, yes, he did write "Happy Christmas," not "Merry....")

I'll probably not be blogging very much over the next few weeks, so Happy New Year as well. I thought this was an opportunity to thank everybody who has commented here, who has linked to here, who reads here regularly.

And a chance to talk about how I feel about Christmas. I'm with Charles Dickens, who put these words into the mouth of Scrooge's nephew, Fred: "I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"

There is practically no version of A Christmas Carol that I cannot stand to watch at least once, although I have a favorite--the 1984 TV version starring George C. Scott, which I consider closest to both the spirit and the letter of Dickens' work. I will confess a soft spot for The Muppet Christmas Carol, in part because my kids love it so (despite their being college graduates now).

So I will close this post with the immortal words of Tiny Tim:

God bless us, everyone!

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10 Things I Learned From Dating a Cross-Dresser

Some interesting insights from the other side:

1. Cross-dressing is fun. When my boyfriend transforms into a woman, he has a blast. It usually happens when he’s at a party, and it’s always over the top and outrageous.

3. Cross-dressing is scary for the cross-dresser’s partner.
I’m not going to pretend like watching my boyfriend transform into a woman and flirt with a man in front of me didn’t scare the shit out of me. My main fear was that my boyfriend is actually a closeted gay man. Turns out this is a very common misconception about crossdressers, and it has to do with how the concept of gender is taught to us as children. I did voice some of my concerns to my boyfriend at one point, and he was baffled by them: “I wish I were gay,” he said. “It would’ve been a great way to piss off my dad.”

4. Cross-dressing is scary for the cross-dresser. My boyfriend was also nervous right before he transformed in front of me for the first time. I could tell he was afraid I would freak out on him. Just because I am very progressive and open-minded when I talk about sex and gender doesn’t mean I will handle this part of him so well.

Ultimately, the cross-dresser fears the same thing his partners fear: that the cross-dressing will destroy their relationship in some way and ultimately that they will not be loved. It’s important to voice your concerns at this point. Communication immediately destroys the power of that anxiety.

7. Cross-dressers are super sexy. This part I can’t explain to you, mostly because sex and arousal aren’t rational things that can be picked apart and analyzed, but I will say this to you: Panties are just as sexy on a man than they are on a woman.

10.

Supporting my boyfriend’s cross-dressing habit made us closer.
Ultimately, accepting that my boyfriend is a crossdresser really made our bond a whole lot stronger. As a member of the “audience,” I was welcomed into a very select group of people who had met Galaxia, this means as friends we developed a closer bond of trust and acceptance. The fact that I had sex with Galaxia just builds more on that same mutual trust. So we deepened our sexual bond and our friendship in the same night.

When my boyfriend cross-dressed, he revealed himself to me, but when I accepted it, felt aroused by it and had sex with Galaxia, I revealed myself to him as well. This doesn’t mean that every heterosexual couple should start cross-dressing just to make their relationship more interesting. Nevertheless, I do want to encourage people to communicate and to be honest with their partners. All in all, my experience regarding my boyfriend cross-dressing was super positive and I just hope that reading about it will make people see how gender norms can be so artificial and unnecessary.

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Dani's Hypnotic Self-Image #2

The second in a series (more about it can be found here):

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Pants for a Sissy

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Poll Results: Dani's Best Look--Round 2, Week 5

Last week's entry was rated at 2.5.

















And here's this week's entry:

The brown-black checked dress is by Mlle. Gabrielle, bought at Annie Sez in October 2014; the shoes are Christian Siriano "Shanghai" neutral peep-toe pumps, from Payless in April 2011. Other accessories are the black hat, gold jewelry, black belt, and natural hose.


You can vote in the poll to the right (and remember "1" is the best).

Transformative Jewelry

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Dominated by Dance Card

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Cosplay Cutie

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Hypnodommes and the Aural World of Erotic Hypnosis

The last piece I've found on erotic hypnosis. (If you are aware of others, send me a link.)

"A domme has to be active," an erotic hypnosis client who prefers to remain anonymous told me. "When you're conditioned, you will crave her words. The direct contact with your Goddess will amplify your feelings, and you will fall deeper under her spell and feel more pleasure. To me, a domme has to be caring and honest. I wouldn't engage in a relationship with just anybody. Trust is the key word here. You can never fully let go if you don't trust your Goddess."

That's the thing about hypnosis. It's impossible to force anyone to do something against their will. The standard line is "all hypnosis is self-hypnosis." If you listen to, say, "Sissy Cock Slave," you won't become a sissy cock slave unless that's what you want. Terms like "force" and "mind-control" are just buzzwords to elevate the kink. You don't go see a dominatrix for mutual conversation.

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Dani's Hypnotic Self-Image

Some time back, in an e-mail, Mistress Lola gave me an interesting hypnotic suggestion:

Just follow my words
and let them mold you
guide you
Let them become your truth
Because from now on
When you see yourself
dressed as a woman
and acting like a woman
You will realise
how very beautiful
and pretty
and gorgeous you are.
You will see yourself
in your photos
and in the mirror
as the beautiful girl of 20 years old
Beautiful
Sexy
Gorgeous
And this will make you feel
so happy
so lovely
so nice
knowing that you are
such a beautiful girl

The result of this suggestion has been interesting. Consciously, I still see my photos as being my reality; subconsciously, I am happier with them than in the past, because I see the way I could have looked in these outfits some 40 years ago. This all led me to an idea...let others see me as I envision myself. Here's the first of a set of morphs showing that vision:

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On Your Knees for December

My monthly instructions for Sissy Gwen:

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Poll Results Delayed

Voting is slow so I'm extending the poll for a week.

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Fully Operative

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Bimbo Made

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Proud Graduate

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Why Do I Cross-Dress?

The answers given by this cross-dresser are very similar to my own:

First of all I do not see myself as a woman trapped in a man’s body. I do not want to be a woman all the time as I like my male side just as much. I am not gay (I am totally heterosexual). I also do not cross-dress for sexual pleaser. In simple words I enjoy it just like chocolate or baseball. Some people exercise or run to relax or relieve stress I become Susan. Susan is my way to get away from my normal life and everything in it for a while, kind of like a mini vacation. How would you like to be able to take a vacation anytime you want? For me I can even if only for a few hours. My time as Susan is just that, my male side and everything that goes with him is put aside and Susan is there. It doesn’t matter what I do as Susan it is just being her for a while. It can be as simple as doing my nails or makeup or even cleaning the house I am still getting away from the normal daily grind and I find it totally relaxing. Like anything you do it will grow with you and expand. Take baseball, the first time you watched a game you were just learning but over time you learn more and more. You learn the teams and players, you watch more and even start going to games. Cross-dressing is the same for me, at first it was just makeup and then came clothing and shoes and then I wanted to go out as Susan. Runners start of running a mile and then work up to 2 mile and then more always pushing what they can do and so do cross-dressers.

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Prettier Than MIstress?

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Dani's Birthday

As long-time readers know, it was this week ten years ago that I bought and wore a full feminine outfit for the first time in nearly 30 years. Since then I have celebrated this as "Dani's birthday," with the posting of a slideshow of the best photos from the past year:



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Bubbles Speaks

[Mistress Lola asked my bimbo persona to say a few words.]

Hi! I'm Bubbles!

Thanks to Mistress Lola, I am the big-boobed bimbo, like, other side of Sissy Dani. I like wearing clothes that show off my humongous knockers, that cling to my every curve. And I guess I'm not very smart.

But it's fun not to have to worry about big stuff...it's, like, so much easier just to care about being and looking beautiful and sexy. I'm just silly and flirty and girly and if somebody asks me a hard question, I just smile and giggle and shake my head.

Mistress Lola sasy she's going to take me shopping soon, to get me just the kind of sexy clothes I should always wear. I can't wait...shopping is, like, one of my fave things to do, because clothes and fashion and makeup are things I like!

I'm so happy Mistress Lola let me come out and play.

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Slideshow: Fall 2017

Here's my quarterly slideshow of the best of the past three months:



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November Dressing 4: Jumpsuit

Not a dress or a skirt, but still very femme:



No digital magic in that last shot; those boobs are all mine.

The navy jumpsuit is by Spense Woman, bought at Ross in June 2016; the shoes are Dollhouse "Margaretta" black pumps with metal heels, from Shoe Dept. in January 2010. Other accessories are a white bow, scarf, silver jewelry, and a white belt.



And two more portraits:

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November Dressing 3: Sweater Dress and Boots

One of my favorite combinations:



The blue cowlneck sweater dress is from Target's Mossimo line in January 2010; the boots are Jaclyn Smith "Tisdale" boots from Kmart in November 2014. Other accessories are a blue bow, silver jewelry, and a black belt.



And some nice portraits:

I have one more outfit to show off this month; please respond to the survey at the right (details here)!