The most important thing to bear in mind if you are troubled by fantasies that involve humiliation (be they forced feminisation or sado masochism) is that such fantasies are extremely common. While there seem to be some personality types that do not enjoy it, I would argue that the vast majority of people do, and that humiliation and control are universal tools of arousal.
Humiliation exists right across the sexual spectrum across all orientations and different ‘fetishes.’ Furthermore, being dominated and forced to perform sex acts on the dominator, or strangers, or an entire bus load of strangers, appears in the fantasies of men and women, gay and straight, the world over.
Clothing often plays a part in such fantasies; of course, in BDSM it is often the wearing of a hood or entire latex suit, while some women like the idea of being dressed in lingerie clearly designed to illicit sexual excitement… and so on and so on. Therefore, if you are a crossdreamer who thinks that the whole being – dressed and forced to service men and women sexually – is unique to your fantasies, then you are mistaken.
But why is humiliation arousing in the first place? This is a fascinating question that has not been satisfactorily answered by anybody. All we have are the usual collection of psychological myths…ie… a series of semi-scientific narratives that allow us to make sense of our experience.
If you put a gun to my head and forced me to come up with my own theory, I would shy away from psychoanalytic explanations and move towards biological ones. I suspect that masochism derives from two principles of mating patterns. These patterns are seen in various species of mammals where…
1. A hierarchical species presents a dominant member as more desirable.
and/ or…
2. A universal drive towards seeking a strong, healthy mate.
In other words, I suspect that the humiliation/control angle stimulates a deeply held biological drive towards those who dominate the hierarchy, or – in being utterly controled by a superior / stronger mate – we feel we have found a strong dependable vessel to pass on our genes and are thus sexually drawn towards such strength.
...you must understand something about humiliation in a sexual context: humiliation must be personalised to the submissive and WORKS BEST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO BE HUMILIATED ABOUT. Thus…
– A crossdreamer being dominated will like to be called a ‘filthy slut’ or depending on his interpretation of the term – ‘a dirty sissy’ (if the term is another word for ‘gay’ he won’t like it… if it means a man who is effeminate, he will).
The important point is this… if you have forced feminisation fantasies or forced lesbian fantasies or cuckolding fantasies, there is nothing weird specifically about you. It is a logical consequence of liking – to some degree – (as most people do) a bit of humiliation now and again. Liking both humiliation and crossdressing, for example, makes it unavoidable that you will fantasise about being humiliated crossdressing because it is the easiest, most available means of humiliating you.
The most important thing to note about forced feminisation is that it is not ‘forced.’ Forced feminisation would be to take a heterosexual male with no crossdressing desires, force him to wear women’s clothes and then make him perform sex acts on men. That would be truly ‘forced.’
There is nothing that a crossdreamer does in his forced feminisation fantasy that he would not want to do anyway. In reality it should be called ‘delegated feminisation’ because the dominatrix is giving him what he wants. Therefore, if the advent of a dominatrix allows him to act out his deepest fantasies, why is he being forced? Your answer maybe ‘yes, but that’s all they would be – fantasies – the advent of the dominatrix forces him to actually fulfill them.’ And I would answer, ‘yes… exactly.’
A part of forced feminisation fantasies, and all forced fantasies, is really logistical: if it’s forced then its more likely to happen, which makes the fantasy more realistic, which makes it more arousing. Almost all fantasies that carry social shame and/or are difficult to execute, will inevitable throw up a forced version. It is an intrinsic property of so called ‘dirty’ fantasies.
Being forced, therefore, is like the Pavlov’s bell of their fantasy. The second they lay eyes on the latex clad dominatrix they salivate… because they know they can not back down, they can not escape… their deepest fantasy is about to be presented on a plate. ‘Forced’… no way: it is the dominatrix who is serving the submissive.
