Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Dressing Your Age

Stana, who--like me--is in her late middle-age, discusses whether dressing to match your age is worth it.

I am tall, so my legs are long; maybe their length causes an optical illusion making them look better than they really are. I don't know, but I am not going to argue with success. If other people are happy with my legs, then I am happy with them, too.

So, I ask myself, “Since my legs are such a great asset, why not show them off?” I usually respond by wearing skirts and dresses with short hemlines (sometimes scandalously short hemlines) and high heels that are 2, 3 or 4 inches high.

One rule of thumb for passing is that you should crossdress your age, i.e., if you are an XX-year-old crossdresser, you should dress like an XX-year-old cisgender woman. At my age that means long skirts and lower heels or worse. By “worse” I am referring to the fact that these days cisgender women my age dress like cisgender men! Trousers, slacks and flats, not skirts, dresses and heels, is the norm especially among women my age.

In my opinion, passing is overrated. If I have to make a choice between dressing to pass or dressing to thrill, I will choose dressing to thrill every time. Sometimes, I dress to pass, but that's no fun. For starters, when I dress to pass, I usually am not that happy with the clothing I wear. To make matters worse, when I dress to pass, I constantly worry about passing. I cannot enjoy myself out en femme. It is a real drag!

On the other hand, when I dress to thrill, I am very happy with the way I look and I can be myself because I do not worry about passing. What is interesting is that sometimes when I am dressed to thrill, I pass!

Sunday, December 27, 2020

The Janus Syndrome 2020-21

For many years about this time, I would post about how well I met my goals for the old year and what my goals for the new year will be. (BTW, Janus is the two-faced Roman god who looked both backward and forward, making him the patron of doorways and of the new year, hence January being named for him.)

I didn't do it last year, because I had decided to reduce my dressing activities (good thing I did, too, considering how the year turned out). But I thought this year I needed to look forward to, I hope, happier times. My plans for the New Year:

1. Once restrictions begin to be lifted, have a "secret sissy day" in public, maybe even an adventure where I get my hair cut while surreptitiously dressed girly.

2. See if I can arrange a face-to-face (over the internet) or at least a voice-to-voice meeting with my Mistress Lola.

3. Barring disaster, not miss a single day of posting here.

Saturday, December 26, 2020

More Prissy Pink

A scene from the commercial for the product advertised on Thursday:

Friday, December 25, 2020

Happy Christmas to All

[My annual Christmas greeting, first posted in 2007.]

...and to all a Good Night!"...as Clement Clark Moore wrote. (And, yes, he did write "Happy Christmas," not "Merry....")

This is my chance to talk about how I feel about Christmas. I'm with Charles Dickens, who put these words into the mouth of Scrooge's nephew, Fred: "I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"

There is practically no version of A Christmas Carol that I cannot stand to watch at least once, although I have a favorite--the 1984 TV version starring George C. Scott, which I consider closest to both the spirit and the letter of Dickens' work. I will confess a soft spot for The Muppet Christmas Carol, in part because my kids love it so (despite their being college graduates now).

So I will close this post with the immortal words of Tiny Tim:

God bless us, everyone!

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

What's It All About?

Some more thoughts from the wonderful Hannah McKnight on what being a cross-dresser is all about:

As pointless as it is to wonder why we are who we are, I still find myself thinking about it, especially when I am drawn to a new outfit. I bounce the whys of who I am back and forth for a bit and then come to the same conclusion that I have come to for years… that there is no answer.

At least I didn’t think there was until the other day! I realized it IS all about clothes. Sort of. Kind of. I mean, yes, but no. It’s kinda sorta both.

Walk around the baby section of any department store. You’ll see onesies with phrases on them like “precious little lady” and “cute little man”. You see pink diaper bags and blue baby blankets. From the moment we are born (and even before), the arbitrary concept and social construct of gender is assigned to us. We don’t have a choice what color socks we wear but whether they are pink or they are blue will have a huge impact on how we are seen and treated. Soon we are being told that boys don’t cry and girls are pretty.

As we are raised, we are given toys and books and clothes that match the societal perception of what we should wear and read and play with based on our genitals (which is REALLY messed up when you think about it). We are being taught that THIS is for boys and THAT is for girls. But if you don’t want to play with trucks or wear pants but you want to play with dolls and wear dresses then we may start to wonder that maybe, just maybe, we are not boys after all if that is what boys are “supposed” to like, wear, and play with. And of course, if we’re not boys, then who are we?

I never felt like I was a girl, I just wanted to look like a girl and dress like a girl sometimes.

We are taught PINK is for girls. We are taught MAKEUP and NAIL POLISH are for girls. And yes, we are taught that (deep breath) panties, bras, lingerie, nightgowns, stockings, dresses, gowns, skirts, blouses, bodysuits, stilettos, high heels, mary janes, ballet slides, wedges, heeled boots, jewelry, leggings, lace, mesh, blouses and a zillion other things are for girls. Therefore, these things are synonymous with girls. Or put another way, synonymous with not being a boy.

If boys are not supposed to wear panties, then I don’t want to be a boy. That’s not to say that I want to be a girl, I just want to be me. Panties, dresses, makeup represent my gender identity. When I see a cute skirt I am reminded (not that I need to be reminded) of who I am, or at least who half of me is.

There's a lot more Hannah has to say about this...I recommend you read the whole thing.

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Mistress Lola Speaks

More thoughts from my hypno-mistress:

1. If you could meet me or any hypnotic subject in person, what is the thing you would most like to do with them?

I think I'd take you shopping, first and foremost. We'd head straight to the boutiques and bigger clothing stores in my hometown, and make sure you had all the clothes you needed to look like a proper sissy. Of course, you'd have to wear them straight from the shop. Then I'd probably play a few games with you, like turn you into a maid and clean my house, or perhaps take you to the club as a bimbo beauty. But I think shopping would probably be our biggest priority, whether it's in your right frame of mind or a more suggestible one. It would be tempting to take you to a salon first for a makeover, but in my mind the clothes make the woman, and it would probably make you more comfortable getting your face done up while in woman's clothes than shopping with a makeover.

2. Do you have a "bucket list" of things you'd like to do in terms of kink? 

The wonderful thing about the world of hypnosis is that there are so many new things to discover. Just when you think you've done everything possible, someone comes along with a new kink that inspires you to go further. So while I did once have an idea of all the things I wanted to try with hypnosis, that soon got tossed out of the window once I discovered my fourth or fifth subject with a surprise fetish. Nowadays I take things more on a case-by-case basis, and think 'what am I in the mood for today' rather than 'what do I want to tick off my list'. It makes it easier for me, for one thing, in that I don't have to come up with anything new when I'm not inspired, and it makes it generally a better ride for the subject as well.

This may be the last set of questions and answers from Mistress Lola. I've run out of ideas for things to ask. If any of my readers have suggestions, e-mail me at prettysissydani@gmail.com.

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Dear Abby on Cross-Dressing in a Marriage

The following letter and reply ran in the syndicated Dear Abby column in October:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married for eight. We have been through a lot together, which has served to strengthen our marriage. My husband is my Prince Charming and my happily forever after.

Recently, he has discovered that he likes wearing women's clothes. It started with him wearing women's underwear under his clothes, which didn't bother me. I even bought him a few pair I liked. It has progressed quickly.

He assures me that he isn't gay, he does not want to become a woman or want to dress in women's clothes full time. However, some of his behaviors have changed, and his wearing women's clothing has increased. When I tried discussing my concerns with him, he said I was being irrational. We fought, and I thought we had worked some things out, but he still has an attitude.

I'm terrified that this is the beginning of the end of my marriage, and I don't want to lose him. But I also don't know just how much of this I can accept or how far he wants to go. He says if I can't accept it, he will stop doing it. But we will both know that he has that desire, and I don't want to stifle something that seems to mean so much to him. I have no one I can talk to about this, Abby. Please help. -- STRUGGLING IN FLORIDA

DEAR STRUGGLING: Take the opportunity to learn all you can about cross-dressing. More men than you may think engage in it, and the majority are heterosexual. An excellent support group for cross-dressers and wives of men who need (not "like") to cross-dress is The Society for the Second Self (Tri Ess). Its website is tri-ess.org. Go there and you will find the support and answers you're looking for.

Keep the lines of communication with your husband open and honest. Only the two of you can determine how to navigate through this. For many couples, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker

Friday, December 4, 2020

Hypno-Session: Mall Sissy

After a longer than intended hiatus, Mistress Lola and I had another session in hypnotic trance this week, one in which I lived a special fantasy--transformed and exposed in a shopping mall. The trance-script is here.

Sunday, November 29, 2020

A Sissy's Thanksgiving

Mistress Lola requested (ordered? commanded?) me to present a list of ten things I am thankful for this year:

I am thankful for:

10. The ability I once had to look truly feminine
9. The ability to be in touch with other sissies through the internet
8. My sister CDs, such as Hannah and Stana, who write intriguing observations on our "hobby"
7. The arousing inspiration of sites like Fictionmania, Erotic Mind-Control, and Smooth, Slick & Shiny
6. The ability to be a sissy, even though I cannot dress
5. The ability to express my sissy-hood through art and writing
4. The ability to be both male and female, as I choose
3. The chance to wear satin panties when I want
2. My sensitive bottom and nipples
1. My loving Mistress Lola Venus, who puts me in trance and guides me on wonderful, erotic adventures.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Accepting Ourselves and Being Accepted

Hannah McKnight talks of acceptance on several levels:

We know that “society” will never “accept” us.

We can’t wait for “them” to let us know that crossdressing or wanting to wear a dress or lipstick or whatever we have tucked away in our dresser drawers or hidden in our closets is okay.

At some point we understand that society doesn’t, and never will accept us. Sure, they many tolerate or even love drag queens or take sensitivity training at work about gender identity, but for those of us who simply like to wear lingerie that level of acceptance is never coming. And it doesn’t need to. What I wear to bed and under my clothes is no one’s business. No one needs to know what kind of underwear I am wearing, whether it is boxers or panties. Spoiler alert: it’s panties.

We can accept ourselves, but liking, embracing this side of ourselves are not the same thing. The same goes with our partners. We want our partners to LIKE this side of us because it makes it easier. We feel less guilt when we wear a nightie because our wives like it when we do. Does my wife like this side of me? She has long accepted that this is who I am. It doesn’t phase her the way it did when I came out to her before we got married. I think she is used to it which is not the same as resigning herself to it. I think she likes we talk about makeup or styles or cute clothes. I think she likes that I can give my thoughts on an outfit she’s wearing and knowing my perspective and opinion is coming from somewhere a little different because of my gender identity.

Some of us have partners that will dress to the nines with them and hit the town. Some of us have partners who see our femme selves as their BFFs and go shopping with. But for most of us, our partners accepting this side of us is the most we can ask for, and the most we can hope for. I understand we want our partners to like this side of us, to be happy with this side of us. I understand, believe me. Accepting their partners as we are is not easy, and even if they do, it doesn’t mean that it won’t be difficult sometimes.

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Mistress Lola Speaks

More thoughts from my hypno-mistress:

1. What's most important in a feminized male? Submission? Obedience? Attractiveness?  

The same thing that's most important in any relationship - personality. If I feel they have an interesting personality then I will forgive them all other faults. Attractiveness is rarely an issue, especially when most of my inductions are text anyway, and submission and obedience are taken as standards. Otherwise why would they come to me in the first place? I don't have to seek out my prey, I let it come to me. No, personality is the most important thing. I need someone who can entertain and amuse me, someone who I can have a conversation with as I make them put on their pretty dresses, who I can stand to be around long after making them walk a mile in high heels. If they grab my interest, then they're worth keeping.

2. You have said my active imagination is part of what makes working with me in trance so appealing. Would you rather have a subject who just lets you take charge or one who can, to some extent, self-direct? 

  That depends very much on how prepared I am for the session. If I have nothing planned, then it can be very useful to allow a subject to self-direct, giving me a chance to build on their desires and use their imagination to take them deeper. And on occasion that has led to some truly enjoyable sessions, with ideas that I wouldn't have thought of myself. On the other hand, if I have planned out what I believe to be an interesting and entertaining session, it can be rather frustrating when the subject starts pulling it in another direction that runs counter to my intentions. There have been a few times when I admit I have been displeased in seeing a subject self-direct, and have actually shouted at the screen in annoyance. In those cases, where I feel it is clear that I am taking them in a certain direction, I would rather they trusted in me to take them down that route rather than veer off to the same old path.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

On Your Knees--October and November

I neglected to upload on "On Your Knees" for last month, so here's two for the price of one.