Sunday, November 29, 2020

A Sissy's Thanksgiving

Mistress Lola requested (ordered? commanded?) me to present a list of ten things I am thankful for this year:

I am thankful for:

10. The ability I once had to look truly feminine
9. The ability to be in touch with other sissies through the internet
8. My sister CDs, such as Hannah and Stana, who write intriguing observations on our "hobby"
7. The arousing inspiration of sites like Fictionmania, Erotic Mind-Control, and Smooth, Slick & Shiny
6. The ability to be a sissy, even though I cannot dress
5. The ability to express my sissy-hood through art and writing
4. The ability to be both male and female, as I choose
3. The chance to wear satin panties when I want
2. My sensitive bottom and nipples
1. My loving Mistress Lola Venus, who puts me in trance and guides me on wonderful, erotic adventures.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Accepting Ourselves and Being Accepted

Hannah McKnight talks of acceptance on several levels:

We know that “society” will never “accept” us.

We can’t wait for “them” to let us know that crossdressing or wanting to wear a dress or lipstick or whatever we have tucked away in our dresser drawers or hidden in our closets is okay.

At some point we understand that society doesn’t, and never will accept us. Sure, they many tolerate or even love drag queens or take sensitivity training at work about gender identity, but for those of us who simply like to wear lingerie that level of acceptance is never coming. And it doesn’t need to. What I wear to bed and under my clothes is no one’s business. No one needs to know what kind of underwear I am wearing, whether it is boxers or panties. Spoiler alert: it’s panties.

We can accept ourselves, but liking, embracing this side of ourselves are not the same thing. The same goes with our partners. We want our partners to LIKE this side of us because it makes it easier. We feel less guilt when we wear a nightie because our wives like it when we do. Does my wife like this side of me? She has long accepted that this is who I am. It doesn’t phase her the way it did when I came out to her before we got married. I think she is used to it which is not the same as resigning herself to it. I think she likes we talk about makeup or styles or cute clothes. I think she likes that I can give my thoughts on an outfit she’s wearing and knowing my perspective and opinion is coming from somewhere a little different because of my gender identity.

Some of us have partners that will dress to the nines with them and hit the town. Some of us have partners who see our femme selves as their BFFs and go shopping with. But for most of us, our partners accepting this side of us is the most we can ask for, and the most we can hope for. I understand we want our partners to like this side of us, to be happy with this side of us. I understand, believe me. Accepting their partners as we are is not easy, and even if they do, it doesn’t mean that it won’t be difficult sometimes.

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Mistress Lola Speaks

More thoughts from my hypno-mistress:

1. What's most important in a feminized male? Submission? Obedience? Attractiveness?  

The same thing that's most important in any relationship - personality. If I feel they have an interesting personality then I will forgive them all other faults. Attractiveness is rarely an issue, especially when most of my inductions are text anyway, and submission and obedience are taken as standards. Otherwise why would they come to me in the first place? I don't have to seek out my prey, I let it come to me. No, personality is the most important thing. I need someone who can entertain and amuse me, someone who I can have a conversation with as I make them put on their pretty dresses, who I can stand to be around long after making them walk a mile in high heels. If they grab my interest, then they're worth keeping.

2. You have said my active imagination is part of what makes working with me in trance so appealing. Would you rather have a subject who just lets you take charge or one who can, to some extent, self-direct? 

  That depends very much on how prepared I am for the session. If I have nothing planned, then it can be very useful to allow a subject to self-direct, giving me a chance to build on their desires and use their imagination to take them deeper. And on occasion that has led to some truly enjoyable sessions, with ideas that I wouldn't have thought of myself. On the other hand, if I have planned out what I believe to be an interesting and entertaining session, it can be rather frustrating when the subject starts pulling it in another direction that runs counter to my intentions. There have been a few times when I admit I have been displeased in seeing a subject self-direct, and have actually shouted at the screen in annoyance. In those cases, where I feel it is clear that I am taking them in a certain direction, I would rather they trusted in me to take them down that route rather than veer off to the same old path.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

On Your Knees--October and November

I neglected to upload on "On Your Knees" for last month, so here's two for the price of one.

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Mistress Lola Speaks

More thoughts from my hypno-mistress:

1. Have you ever felt that a hypnosis session was becoming dangerous, either to yourself or the subject?  

I usually do my very best to take things slowly and fit in plenty of failsafes to avoid any session veering out of my control. I know there are stories about subjects falling into subspace and allowing their natural inhibitions to dissolve, placing themselves entirely at the command of the hypnotist. Fortunately I've never had to worry about that myself. There was one time when I was worried that I had unlocked a repressed personality, but upon closer inspection I determined that the subject was faking that as part of some kink of theirs. Not one I understand, but to each their own.

2. Do you ever practice self-hypnosis? Put yourself into trance to accomplish something you couldn't or wouldn't do normally? 

 Chance would be a fine thing! I may have mentioned before that one of the motivating factors for me developing my own style of hypnosis was because I could never find anyone who could hypnotise me. Sadly I'm also immune to this - I can make myself calmer with my mantra, but I can't achieve the same success with visualisation and motivation as you have done whilst caught in my hypnotic spell. I blame it on a lack of trust - I've never found a hypnotist yet that I respected and trusted enough to give my mind to. I don't claim to be entirely resistant to hypnosis, but so far my efforts to go under have been fruitless, even when it's myself doing it.