But a full response would be much longer than any comment on a blog posting ought to be. So, I'm posting the bulk of her thoughts here and writing a long response that will be posted tomorrow. Then I will comment on her blog (and likely e-mail her) with a link to that post.
I fully accept that I will never completely understand why I am who I am. It could be genetics, it could be nothing more than how I am wired. I know I also overthink this aspect of myself. I mean, I never wonder why I like watching documentaries or why I like waking up early. I know! SO boring, lol.
Although I don’t do drag, I can absolutely see the appeal of it. It would be so fun to break out of my shell and perform for others, to wear fabulous dresses, extreme heels, at least for a night. I don’t feel that taking estrogen is right for me, but I understand why some feel it’s the right decision for them.
I get a lot of emails from girls like us and if I am speaking in VERY general terms, it FEELS that MOST (not all) messages from those who tell me they are a sissy, or curious about being a sissy want to put on a frilly pink dress and being at the mercy of a man.
I mean, I understand sex. I like sex. I also know that clothes and presenting as a gender other than the one most people see, can bring out a different side of us, and sometimes that is a sexual side of us. I get that. I also understand the appeal of being en femme and enjoying the attention from men, intimate or otherwise. One of the things I enjoy about being en femme is kind of taking time off from my boy life. The stress, the responsibilities, all of that. Spending the day in a pretty dress and shopping for clothes is a wonderful little vacation.
And although I don’t necessarily relate, I also see the appeal of being submissive. I listened to a podcast about a guy who visits with a dominatrix. He has a very stressful life and is responsible for a lot of important decisions with his company and he said that for a few hours a week he is tied up and has no control or responsibilities. He makes no decisions, he just… checks out. He said it wasn’t about sex anymore, it was about being able to unwind (while being tied up) after a hellish week. No one is asking him to go to a meeting, or make an important decision, or discuss the projected fiscal budget for Q3. I suppose it’s healthier than drinking or escaping reality with drugs.
I have a lot of enlightened readers who are so amazing at helping me understand things, so I am wondering if there is something more to this that I am missing. I mean, on a perfunctory level, it seems like it’s all about wearing a frilly pink dress (again, the dresses are adorable) and getting nailed. Is that all there is? Does it need to be about anything else? I am either overthinking or oversimplifying this, I feel. Is it similar to the guy in the podcast?
I don’t need to understand every aspect of gender/kink/fantasy and there’s zero judgement about if this is really all about the clothes and sex. If it is, okay, sounds good. I just am wondering if there’s something that I am missing, a perspective anyone can offer.